Reading makes me feel less stupid.

SO, it’s been almost a year after graduation… (yes, I realize that is a major topic of mine as of late, but whatever, it’s what I’m going through at the moment). As I seek to find a vision, I have decided to return to my roots… basically, I’ve been getting back to what gets me going, gets me feeling passionate, makes me want to “move and groove,” if you will.

I’ve been buying (and reading) magazines.

Right after graduation, at the beginning of my job (career?), I would only buy such reading material as People, Us Weekly, and Star Magazine. Maybe I had air of “Fuck you, academia, this is where you got me, so this is what I’m going to read.” For about 4 months, I followed, closely, the goings on of Britney Spears and other falling, failing Hollywood bimbos. Basically, I’ve been feeling as dumb as them.

And then, I had an epiphany at the Borders Mag Rack. While purusing the array of trashy magazine covers, I caught a glimpse of a camel crossing a Chinese desert. First, I thought, “I didn’t know they had camels in China,” and then I thought, “What else don’t I know about China?” So I bought and subsequently read, The Economist. Politics and Economics — two of my faves. Then came Ms. magazine and feminism. And Adbusters, full of media commentary and anti-establishmentness. Perfect.

I’m feeling a little bit smarter these days. And I’m getting to the point of dealing with the big question… “WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?”

A man is preggers… for real!

This article so interesting!

things from californ-i-a

I have lived in California for almost 7 years now. That’s the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere – and if Cali were my S.O. we would have common law marriage status.

I think Starbucks is on it’s way out. They grew too fast, I think. Their stock is down, they have to pay California baristas money and people can’t afford grande white chocolate mocha frapaccinos right now.

the (sort of) worst

I’ll just be blunt – life after college is not spectacular. I don’t have the job I was planning on. I have no money. I’m more uncertain than I ever was as to what I want to do (with my life).  I have no status (like I was expecting? Yeah, I guess I was expecting status.) I suppose I was thinking I would be set… to retire, like, next year.

It takes a lot for me to get excited about things, now. Which really sucks. I think I was pretty excited about things, like, a year ago. The future was unknown, but exciting. Now, the future just makes me nervous as hell. It feels pointless to make large decisions about life right now, because I have no idea where I am, or where I am going.

I haven’t been creative in months, which I really miss. I do like my job, most days. But, then, on days like yesterday, I’m forced to confront the plans I had a year ago (ran into an old college class mate, at work, in my retail uniform … last time I saw her, I was in regalia, speaking at my graduation), and it gets me all depressed about where I am.

At least, I don’t have homework.

i LiKE WHO i LiKE

 

Somewhere in my mid-teens, I was made aware of Frida Kahlo. Her art was perfect for my fifteen year-old self. It was a time when I was searching for something more than the suburbs and dead-end friends, and Frida’s work seemed so ripe with clear ideas of pain, womanhood, outsiderness, rebellion and passion. Her art was also tied to a greater world of identity, race, politics, thought, sexuality and feminism. It was captivating for me to discover, to study and to (attempt to) recreate Frida’s art.

I think her name is kind of a cliche now, which is really sad. You can pretty much go into any museum shop and buy a Frida magnet, notebook, postcard or mouse pad. Art critics say her work is “underskilled” and “fussy” and that fans aren’t drawn to her work, but her story. I just read an article that argued her paintings and photographs were more about “performance” than great artistic composition.

She is apparently one of the most famous woman artists, with fans like Madonna and her paintings selling for upwards of 10 million dollars.

I still just love her stuff. To me, it is beautiful. She is the center of it – and it deals with issues that matter to me(and that a lot of women can relate to). She doesn’t paint flowers and landscapes and children playing with teddy bears (though she sort of incorporates all three and adds some dead things). She paints her self, with flaws, with pain, with mixed and battling identities. The message is not all I love, I like the actual composition. I like the colors, the “simplicity,” and the “brush strokes.” If you ever see her paintings in real life (I saw one, once, at the SF MoMA), it’s pretty spellbinding.

oi.

I know this video is making the rounds in the blogosphere… and I’m a little late to jump on the wagon, but I have to post it… if not for you, then for me. I will need to watch it frequently, I think.

Dr. Randy Pausch, a professor from Carnegie Mellon, gave a [now famous] last lecture series. He then redid the lecture on “Oprah.” But honestly, if you can’t watch the whole lecture series, then watch this one:

I know that I need to remember these points, for sure:

1. Your critics are trying to make you better.
2. Work very, very hard.
3. Value people, not things.
4. Always have fun.
5. Have humility.
6. Allow yourself (and others) to be creative.
7. Always tell the truth.
8. Apologize: “Im sorry. It was my fault. How do I make it right?”
9. No one is all bad… be patient, and wait for the good to come out in people.
10. Show gratitude… it’s not hard.
11. Don’t complain or whine. Choose to take your finite time to “play the game hard.”
12. Luck is where preparation meets oppurtunity.
13. If you lead your life the right way, your dreams will come to you.

boys, video games, the simpsons & porn

I was listening to my favorite radio show a few weeks back, and the host (a new guy, Ian Punnett) was interviewing a Dr. Richard Sax. I’d never heard of the guy, but found the topic really interesting. Since the show, I’ve been thinking about it pretty much every day.

Dr. Sax was discussing “what’s happening to boys today,” and the book he wrote on the subject, called “Boys Adrift.” His research is driven by the fact that one third of men ages 22 -34 are still living with their parents (Sax attributes this data to the Census Bureau), and their sisters seem to be more successful than ever. And, according to Sax, this data shows these trends occuring across all demographics. Sax says it’s a combination of social and biological factors.

The good Doctor narrowed it down to five main components that are driving the decline of boys (this list is from his Web site):

Video Games. Studies show that some of the most popular video games are disengaging boys from real-world pursuits.

Teaching Methods. Profound changes in the way children are educated have had the unintended consequence of turning many boys off school.

Prescription Drugs. Overuse of medication for ADHD may be causing irreversible damage to the motivational centers in boys’ brains.

Endocrine Disruptors. Environmental estrogens from plastic bottles and food sources may be lowering boys’ testosterone levels, making their bones more brittle and throwing their endocrine systems out of whack.

Devaluation of Masculinity. Shifts in popular culture have transformed the role models of manhood. Forty years ago we had Father Knows Best; today we have The Simpsons.

I think about this a lot in my daily interactions with dudes who act like they would be doing me a favor if I gave them a blow job. It’s insane! Maybe I’m just an old-fashioned, angry,  single lady, or maybe I’m noticing something other people are too. Certainly, this does not apply to ALL guys … I guess it’s just a third of them, or maybe less, because I’m sure there are some decent dudes who still live with M & D.

a fave of mine

One thing I love in life is fast drawing. I find it meditative, or something… anyway, I found this guy on youtube who does some really great fast drawing… amazing!