Mills

Today, I found myself back at my alma-mater, Mills College. It was a surreal experience. I had lunch in the tea shop — which was strange and emotional. I couldn’t help but to look around and see so many memories in the pockets of that campus. Past friendships and present ones. Anxiety, joy, contentness. Hilarity, sadness. Words and paint. Eucalyptus and egg-salad-sandwiches. It just made me think that maybe I am where I am supposed to be right now. Maybe I am doing what I was meant to be doing — even though sometimes it feels like my life (at this moment) is all wrong. I will say this about right now: I feel as if I am getting some stuff worked out, even though it is hard and often lonely. A lot of the time I end up feeling bored, overwhelmed and socially twitchy.

Alright, that’s enough adjectives for one post — I also saw Milk – the film that made me famous. It was fantastic… Sean Penn was such a wonderful act. The story is just so tragic and meaningful. It’s so applicable to struggles that are currently happening in society — and especially in California (Prop 8). It made me feel motivated about the future of social justice and equality. I was recruited (well, I’m sorta already in the club — but this just firmed up my membership)!

Check Up.

(No, mom, contrary to the title, I have not seen a doctor or dentist… yet.)

So, my blogging has been dismal this month of January. The holidays seemed to fly by (too fast) and now here it is, January 20th. Inaguration Day. We have a new prez.

The book I was reading was Joan Didion’s Slouching Towards Bethlehem. I can’t believe I never read her stuff as a Journalism minor (in college). It’s pretty astonishing – considering she was one of the most famous, non-fic, pseudo-journalists (by pseudo, I mean, she was a journalist, but also author and essayist) in the 50s/60s. Anyway, that’s where all the words came from. I liked reading something that made me not only think but learn new (smart) words. It inspired my friends to get me the book: 100 Words to Make You Sound Smart. I will use at least one of the words from that book in this post… it’s up to you to decide which word it is (it is NOT prez, just in case you were wondering ).

Now I’m reading another book I got for Christmas, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman. Klosterman is also a non-fic kinda author. He works on columns and non-fic books, and he has a few novels floating around out there. Is he the modern day Joan? No, of course not. But he critiques and brings forward certain (hip) parts of society. There’s small things the two have in common, I’ve noticed, in their content – not their style.

Anyway, I’m not that far into the Klosterman book, but I have read the first couple of rants. So far, it’s really brusque and man-centric. 

A point he focused on in the first piece is the idea that romantic comedies are ruining a generation. We all have these ideas of what love and relationships are supposed to be like. We get these ideas from movies and music and sitcoms that exotify love and “the relationship” to a point where it is hard to get a grip on what the reality of things are. A couple that we think are “cute” or “well-suited” or whatever, according to Klosterman, are just enacting in public, what they learned from Monica Gellar and Chandler Bing on Friends. This could be true. A  few years ago, I was head-over for this one guy. When distance separated us I poured an album of  Coldplay into my head for an entire 4 months of my life. The “relationship” in my head was one like what Chris Martin sings:

“Lights will guide you home…And ingnite your bones… And I will try… to fix you…”

In actuality, the “relationship” was much different, which crushed me (twice!). I had this fantasy that because this guy was in a band — he must be the Chris to my Gwyneth. I was wrong (twice!).

So, while Klosterman puts forth a very manly take on things — I can relate — and in some ways I agree. It’s easy to agree with him on this point when you are single.

“You are feeling verrrrry sleeeeeepy” actually kind of works.

My best friend borrowed some CDs from her mother-in-law to relax her fears about taking a plane ride. She told me about them in passing – and I expressed interest, because she said they were kind of nice. The CDs were  ”Guided Imagery” by Belleruth Naparstek. Each CD deals with different areas where you can supposedly use imagery and your imagination to help you accomplish or conquer. The CDs included guided imagery to help with “General Wellness,” ”Anxiety,” “Stress,” and what I was most interested in,  ”Sleep.”

I’m not really a believer of the whole “holistic” honky, hippy, lavender, chamomile business. Mostly because I was raised with like, a book and Tylenol PM as sleep aids. But I put the CDs on my new iPod, and decided to give ‘em a shot one night.

 

I was amazed… I turned on Belleruth’s voice, and kinda committed to the idea that it just might work… and… it did! For the past four nights, I have slept really well. Even if I’m not feeling especially tired, but I know I should sleep, they work! I will doze off at different points in Belleruth’s spiel and wake up thinking… WHOA! I actually slept?!?!