Prison Blues

15 Mar

This story comes straight out of Folsom, Califon-i-a.

Folsom, along with being the town that surrounds a giant prison made popular by Johnny Cash, is a suburb of Sacramento. I used to live there, and it’s one creepy-ass town. I imagine it as a petri-dish in which intelligent scientists manipulate different controls to prove the theory that urban sprawl is bad.

(p.s. Is there anything about that postcard that makes you want to visit Folsom? I think, no?!)

As the story illuminates, parents are nut-skies in Folsom. They all love their pain-in-the-ass kids beyond comprehension. The majority of teens in Folsom are abusing crank or meth and continue to get unyielding support (by way of $$$ and soccer game attendance) from their ‘rents. The adolescents who don’t take part in drug-related good times are born-again… and committed to “saving” their privileged peers, but only through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, mind you.

The streets in Folsom are too wide and I’d say about 90 percent of the townspeople are white. I’ve lived several other suburbs, but none tops the pecularity of Folsom. I was just trying to think of something positive to end on, but I really can’t think of ONE good thing about that awkward place.


One Response to “Prison Blues”

  1. merritt March 15, 2007 at 10:15 pm #


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