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The “Daddy’s Girl”

6 Apr

The first time I noticed a girl outwardly claiming to be a “Daddy’s Girl,” I was in high school. This chick wore a tee-shirt announcing, in gold applique cursive, she and her poppa got along well.

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In college a fellow classmate wore a gold chain with a “Daddy’s Girl” charm attached.

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In the past few weeks, I’ve seen several tattoo-clad ladies, with “DADDY’S GIRL”  splayed across their flesh. 

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All of this “Daddy’s Girl” business makes me feel weird and it also makes me uncomfortable when anyone over 12 calls their dad, “daddy.” Let me be clear here. There is a difference between “daaaaddy” and what sounds like “deddy.” Calling your paternal figure “Daddy” is extremely common in the South, and when Southerners say it, it sounds like “Deddy.” My grandmother, from the South, has forever referred to her parents as Mother and Daddy. I never think that’s strange. That’s like me calling my dad, dad. But, if you are from anywhere other than the South and you call your dad “daddy,” I tend to cringe.

Additionally, there are such things as “daddy’s girls.” That seems to be fine too. If you get along with your Dad – awesome. If you have a special bond with your father – rad. If you prefer your pops over you mom – fabulous. But if you adorn your attire with announcements of your affections, it’s kind of repulsive and sends me into a tizzy of confusion and caution.

The assumption in claiming your “daddy’s girl”-ness, is that you are spoiled and privileged – even if your not. It’s like, “My daddy loves me sooooo much he bought me this tee shirt and Volkswagen Jetta to match.”

Also, in a strange way, it shows you father’s ownership over you. You aren’t your own girl, your daddy’s. 

I can’t try hard enough to establish myself outside of my parents. It’s not that I don’t love and admire and adore my mom and dad, because I do. But, also, I’m trying hard everyday to become my own person. To identify as anyone’s “girl” makes me shiver with fear. Identifying as a “daddy’s girl” would only make me feel young and small.

I cannot ignore the current sexualization of the word “daddy.” If someone my age says, “My Daddy gave me this car,” it freaks me out because I totally interpret this to be sexual. 

I think Freud probably had something to do with this. His popularization and idea of Oedipal relationships between parents and their offspring has sort of leaked into everyday thinking about familial relationships. In fact, there is actually a book, Relative Intimacy: Fathers, Adolescent Daughters and Postwar American Culture by Rachel Devlin, that explores the history of “daddy’s girls” – what it meant then (1920s, 30s, 40s, 50s) and what it means now. (Great article here!)

The most interesting part is what it currently means to be a “daddy’s girl.” Why do girls have this need? And why publicize it? I think Delvin is on the money (pardon the pun) when saying today, being a daddy’s girl is about commercialization. Most girls want their Dads to love them and thus buy them things to show it. If some chick is advertising that this is the relationship she has with her dad – other ladies get jealous, they desire that as well. It’s like any good clothing trend.

I hope this “Daddy’s Girl” attire sticks around as long as parachute pants did, but, something tells me it will be more like the fanny pack, continuously re-invented.

i will miss my room mates, best friends…

5 Jul

… Granted, they will only be about 7 miles away, but it feels like they will be days away because I’m used to living within a 20 foot radius of them.

I’ve lived with the same gals (my best friends) for the past two years. We have a kickin’ apartment, in Oakland, and we have had an outstandingly wonderful stay together. And yet, it feels time to move on… to different things, places. I’m finding it all very sad. The truth is, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life but I have found an apartment in SF (“The City”) and will haul myself and my belongings across the bay August 1st. So, for nostalgia’s sake… my roomies and I try to take a “house picture” whenever we are together for some kind of an event. Here are some from the past couple years:

September, 2006

October, 2006

November, 2006

January, 2007

February, 2007

July, 2007 (plus my brother)

oh, wait, that isn’t us

July, 2008

 

LOVE YOU GIRLS!

A man is preggers… for real!

26 Mar

This article so interesting!

Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters

16 Aug

Courtney Martin, one of the Feministing girls, recently wrote a book, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters. She was in Berkeley in June (totally bummed I missed it) and I recently caught this clip of her reading an excerpt from her book:

I’ve been totally self-obsessed lately, critiquing every part of myself: and the way the world sees me, the way I see myself, basically, who I am. (I’m told this is relatively normal at my age?!) Parts of what she read are along the lines of what I’ve been thinking lately. I have a full planner and an axiety disorder – I’m judgemental about myself and forgiving of others – I must get As – I must make money – I must make it look effortless – I get homesick – I am annoyed with this part of myself – I cry when I have serious conversations with my friends – I can never show enough humility – I got passed over for a job – Have I dropped out of the race? – I want a hug – I want to change the world – I want to sleep away the days – I would like to believe I love to be busy – I have no faith – I wish I could believe in a God.

I’m sure if I’m just being melodramatic … bits of this probably hit home with most everyone. It’s interesting, none the less. I would like to hear other’s thoughts!

To Jessica, With Love.

3 Aug

The best thing I have ever seen on youtube:

I am so obsessed with Jessica now. It’s the only thing I’ve talked about all day! I love her big, beautiful, lovey eyes; her lil’ ears; her coffee addiction; her dog friends; and most of all her night time routines.

I’ve always loved hippos, second to elephants, but now, I don’t know. 

Percocet.

11 Jun

My brother (almost 18, just graduating from High School) recently had surgery on his soccer-injured shoulder. The kid is a goalie and the tendons in his shoulder got all stretched out and gross and it kept dislocating, so he had to have surgery.

So the surgery was pretty gnarly (hate that word, but have to use it in this instance) and he probably looked something like this

(minus the mullet and nipple ring [I hope])

so the Doctors gave him the good stuff. They gave him Percocet.

Now keep in mind conversations with my brother (we’ll call him Jude for now) go something like this:

Me: “Hey Jude, how’s it goin’?”

Jude: “Pretty good. I’m just tryin’ to chill.”

Me: “Yeah? That’s good…… well, I’m doin’ pretty good. You know, working. I went to this show last weekend. It was so good… you would have loved it!”

Jude: “That’s cool.”

Me: “Yeah. How’s school?”

Jude: “Fine. Just chillin’.”

Me: “Okay…. is Mom there?”

Well, a couple days after his surgery, when he was still taking the Perc every few hours, I talked to him. It was incredibly strange and it really freaked me out because he was clearly high as a damn kite (not that he could help it, but still, he was drugged out like, omg). It didn’t freak me out that he was high, but that he was that high around my parents.

You know what I’m sayin’?? Awwwwwwwwwkward.

OK, anyway, back to the convo I had with my him while he was high. It went something like this:

Me: “Hey Jude! How’s the ol’ shoulder? Are you in pain?”

Jude: “Yeah!! It hurts like a bitch! I have this big ice thing on my shoulder and it’s really uncomfortable. It makes my shoulder all cold. And I have to take Percocet like every three hours. But I take two before I go to bed. But I can’t get into my bed, I have to sleep in Mom and Dad’s bed and they sleep on the couch.”

Me: “WoW. That’s sounds really bad, I can’t believe you can’t get into your bed.”

Jude: “Yeah. And I haven’t taken a crap in five days!!!!!!”

Silence. Silence. Me thinking: is this for real?

Me: “Maybe you should get some metamucel.”

Jude: “Yeah! HAHAHA! But that crap tastes like shit.”

Silence. Silence.

Me: “Ha. Well, when do you think it’s going to be better?”

Jude: “Wellllll, it should be better…. better by…. well, I can’t think right now but it should be better soon.”

Me: “Ok, well. Is Mom there?”

As you can see, this convo had me all freaked. I’ve heard through the grapevine that he’s better, but I’m too afraid to talk to him because I’m afraid he’ll say something more awkward than “I haven’t shat in 3 weeks.” Well, he didn’t exactly say that, but that’s what I heard.

Canadian Kid’s TV

6 Jun

While I’ve been cursing everyone else in the blogosphere for not posting, I realize it’s been quite a few days since I posted myself. I’ve been busy. Busy reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand (more to come on this when I finish), busy working, busy searching for jobs, busy thinking about what I should post next and busy watching old Canadian TV.

You see, a recent trip to my aunt’s house, who owns satellite TV complete with “The N” channel, re-kindled my love for Degrassi: The Next Generation.

 

What is most amazing about the show (besides the show itself) is that it is 6 seasons long and still going strong. This provides ample time for me to watch every episode on DVD and fall in love (once again) with the characters as they move from middle school to high school to college.

The content is just unbeatable. We don’t have shows like this in the States, and we should, especially for pre-teens/teens. The issues: drugs, online stalkers, sex, divorce, are so important and relevant in today’s world and what do we have? The Amanda Show. Unfabulous. Shows that feature kids unlike any you can find in today’s middle schools, dealing with issues that are unimportant, minute.

So, I started thinking about shows that I really loved/had an impact on me as a pre-teen. The one that sticks out is Ready or Not, which was on the Disney Channel in the days of “Bug Juice” and “The Torkeldsons”. “Ready or Not” is a Canadian show that features Busy and Amanda as they move through the world of growing up in the 90s (there are some amazing mullets, shorts-over-sweatpants, braids and bangs in this show). As far as I know, no one really remembers this show. But my sister and I really loved it circa 1996. A lil’ (incredible) snippet for you:

Go here for some more amazing “Ready or Not” videos. 

IN CONCLUSION: The US should not only take hints from Canada on international/domestic governmental policies, but it should also model its childrens’ programming after Canadian kid’s TV.