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Hey yo 2012

5 Jan

I’ve considered deleting this blog altogether, but it is such a nice, healthy outlet. It’s funny how that parallels my feelings about therapy. Lately, I’ve been considering stopping my weekly runs to see a therapist; but have yet to pull the plug because it’s a positive, mindful place to be. Also, I feel like if I stop going, I’m going to regret it and be screwed into dealing with my anxiety and over-thinking by myself.

Anyway, I digress. Lately, I’ve been thinking about  Starting a Podcast. Podcasting is to radio as blogging is to the opinions page in the newspaper. It’s totally grassroot, mostly free and you can do/say whatever you want. Since I’ve been thinking about starting a podcast, this is what I would talk about in my podcast this week:

The story is these five baby girls were born in 1934, and were the first recorded occurrence of quintuplets surviving infancy. The Canadian government took guardianship of the quints shortly after their birth, claiming their parents unfit to care for the five babies. The government built “Quintland” across the street from the girls’ family home and made the everyday lives of the infants/babies/young adults into a tourist attraction. There were souvenirs and viewing areas at Quintland. The girls were surrounded by scientists, doctors, nurses and the curious public FOR YEARS! At one point, Quintland was more trafficked than Niagara Falls. So basically – the Canadian government profited from their lives. After many years, and a custody battle, the girls were released back to their parents, where they claimed their father sexually abused them (though, later in life, they disputed these allegations). They all moved out of the home at 18 and 2/5 died in early adulthood – one from a stroke and one from a seizure. Another passed away in her 60s from cancer. There are only 2 remaining sisters alive and NO ONE HAS MADE A MOVIE ABOUT THIS! There were a couple television movies from what I can gather, and maybe an old movie, but HELLO! We need to hear/see this story!

  • Nootropics – what are they? do they work?
  • Why am I obsessed with song? FLO RIDA
  • I went antique shopping over the holidays – searching for Christmas presents. It got me thinking about the massive amount of things in the world. So many THINGS. And I love things, but where do they go and what happens to these things. I’m also reading a book, The Hare with the Amber Eyes by Edmund De Waal, which discusses this a bit so far. What is my role in things? Do things have to be tied to consumerism?
  • Upcoming vacation in Hawaii with my sister, who is in Afghanistan right now

Catching up with Russia

5 Feb

I’m reading this book about a socialist, extremely “left” family in New York. A lot of the references in the characters’ dialogue and thought are about Marxist politics. It occurred to me, while reading about these characters, that I know next to nothing about Marx, and other socialist and communist philosophers and leaders. Lenin, Stalin, Castro … I know them as evil-doers only, I have no idea about what theories brought them into being and helped them overthrow entire governmental systems.  In school, when we thought about communist “regimes,” we were almost always referring to China. I know a small bit about China, just from taking Government classes, but some how, I missed Russian history and German philosophy.

So, without having late-night access to the library, I decided to start watching public documentaries on these leaders… I started with Lenin, and watched this. And then I moved to Stalin, and watched this:

Tomorrow, I am picking up a two-part documentary on Russia that I ordered from the local video store. And I need a book — something like “Russian History for Dummies” or something. I really want to understand all of this; I don’t want to be bombarded with thoughts and ideas (and words) that I have no chance of grasping. I need to read a book on Marx too, along the same lines. I’m worried anything about Marx will be too dense and hard.



23 Jan


Today, I found myself back at my alma-mater, Mills College. It was a surreal experience. I had lunch in the tea shop — which was strange and emotional. I couldn’t help but to look around and see so many memories in the pockets of that campus. Past friendships and present ones. Anxiety, joy, contentness. Hilarity, sadness. Words and paint. Eucalyptus and egg-salad-sandwiches. It just made me think that maybe I am where I am supposed to be right now. Maybe I am doing what I was meant to be doing — even though sometimes it feels like my life (at this moment) is all wrong. I will say this about right now: I feel as if I am getting some stuff worked out, even though it is hard and often lonely. A lot of the time I end up feeling bored, overwhelmed and socially twitchy.

Alright, that’s enough adjectives for one post — I also saw Milk — the film that made me famous. It was fantastic… Sean Penn was such a wonderful act. The story is just so tragic and meaningful. It’s so applicable to struggles that are currently happening in society — and especially in California (Prop 8). It made me feel motivated about the future of social justice and equality. I was recruited (well, I’m sorta already in the club — but this just firmed up my membership)!

2 days ago was

6 Nov

Election day. It was such an amazing opportunity to be able to vote for Barack Obama… it kind of frazzled me. I was excited and nervous, and by voting in Oakland, I couldn’t help but to feel like I was a part of something really big.

It was overwhelming when he won, so clearly, so easily. His acceptance speech made me ball like a big baby.  I’m so content to be living during this time. Though I have the dreaminess for the 60s (mostly the fashion and music), politically and socially, this time is unlike any other. So much justice is happening right now (though there is a LONG way to go), it is very exciting to see, and experience.


3 Nov

It’s that time.

I hope we (the country) makes the right (left) decision.


Reading makes me feel less stupid.

26 Mar

SO, it’s been almost a year after graduation… (yes, I realize that is a major topic of mine as of late, but whatever, it’s what I’m going through at the moment). As I seek to find a vision, I have decided to return to my roots… basically, I’ve been getting back to what gets me going, gets me feeling passionate, makes me want to “move and groove,” if you will.

I’ve been buying (and reading) magazines.

Right after graduation, at the beginning of my job (career?), I would only buy such reading material as People, Us Weekly, and Star Magazine. Maybe I had air of “Fuck you, academia, this is where you got me, so this is what I’m going to read.” For about 4 months, I followed, closely, the goings on of Britney Spears and other falling, failing Hollywood bimbos. Basically, I’ve been feeling as dumb as them.

And then, I had an epiphany at the Borders Mag Rack. While purusing the array of trashy magazine covers, I caught a glimpse of a camel crossing a Chinese desert. First, I thought, “I didn’t know they had camels in China,” and then I thought, “What else don’t I know about China?” So I bought and subsequently read, The Economist. Politics and Economics — two of my faves. Then came Ms. magazine and feminism. And Adbusters, full of media commentary and anti-establishmentness. Perfect.

I’m feeling a little bit smarter these days. And I’m getting to the point of dealing with the big question… “WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?”

Presidential Forum on LGBTQ issues

16 Aug

In case you missed it, Logo and the Human Rights Campaign hosted a forum for the front-running Democratic candidates on August 12th. You can see the entire thing or more brief segments here.

I just watched the whole thing and found it extremely interesting. This issue is something that I feel very strongly about, have read a lot about, and have personal experience with – so the responses were important – and I was looking for something profound. I must say – while I was impressed with many of the candidates statements – I came away feeling like, really? That’s it? I know it takes time – moving items and concerns through politics and government is grueling. But I sort of agree with John Stewart’s analysis:

“…At the debate, the Democratic candidates were trying to reassure the gay community how much they support them, while reassuring the rest of the country that they don’t completely support them.”

Also – the Logo blog: Visible Vote ’08 has great posts with news summaries and updates on all things related to LGBTQ in the 2008 election.