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Bitches

8 Mar

One of my facebook friends recently posted a link to this… I found it totally funny. A teacher in Washington DC found a list on the floor of her classroom. From what can be gathered, a child, somewhere between the ages of 10 – 14 wrote an extensive list which she/he titled: Types of Bitches. It’s essentially a classification of all the different kinds of bitches this kid has encountered in one way or another. Without further ado:

Types of Bitches

1) Dirty dumb ass bitches
2) Aint got no ass bitches
3) Dusty trick bitches
4) Fishy bitches
5) Don’t know how to fight bitches
6) Got all that mouth but can’t step bitches
7) Ugly looking bitch that think they all that
8) Can’t keep a man bitch
9) Track wearing bitches
10) Bitches that be trying to steal your man
11) Hoochie looking bitches
12) Ain’t got no damn sense bitches
13) Stupid bitches that act dumb
14) Bitches who can only get a dirty boy
15) Want to be jocking bitches
16) Bitches who think their man love them but get pregnant and be left alone
17) Bitches who think they better than me
18) Instigating bitches
19) Talking behind your back bitches
20) Loud mouth bitches
21) Pissy bitches
22) Stingy bitches
23) Funky looking bitches
24) Short hair bitches
25) Spanish bitches who think they all that cause of their hair
26) Bitches that be ignoring you when they know they can hear you
27) Staring in your face bitches
28) Big eyed looking bitches
29) Crazy bitches
30) Nappy tender headed bitches
31) Booty shorts wearing bitches
32) Coast-signing bitches
33) Dick riding bitches
34) Whipped bitches
35) Buck tooth bitches
36) Cheesy teeth bitches
37) Same wearing clothes each day bitches
38) Ghetto bitches
39) Hair dyeing bitches
40) Wearing shoes that be talking bitches
41) Bitches who think they hard
42) Bitches that think they get money
43) Bitches that go to a dirty school
44) (page missing)
45) (page missing)
46) (page missing)
47) (page missing)
48) (page missing)
49) (page missing)
50) (page missing)
51) (page missing)
52) (page missing)
53) (page missing)
54) (page missing)
55) (page missing)
56) (page missing)
57) (page missing)
58) (page missing)
59) Gay bitches
60) Stanky fishy coochie smelling bitches
61) Tomboy bitches
62) Stain on your pants bitches
63) Dry scalp dandruff bitches
64) Dirty hair bitches
65) Stealing bitches
66) Stinky feet bitches
67) Big gap bitches
68) Protecting their store bitches
69) Pajamas outside bitches
70) Ragly braid bitches
71) Stanky butt bitches
72) Greedy bitches
73) Slimy grimy bitches
74) Psycho bitches
75) Drug dealing bitches
76) Geekin’ bitches
77) Suntanning bitches
78) Goofy looking bitches
79) Triflin’ bitches
80) Skanky bitches
81) Mugging bitches
82) Sloppy bitches
83) Dirty fingernails bitches
84) Dirty sock wearing bitches
85) Uncreative bitches
86) White bitches that think black people poor
87) Conceited bitches
88) Tall bitches
89) Short bitches
90) Jealous bitches

So, all of that is sort of hilarious. What was equally intriguing (at least, to me), was the resulting comment section on the blog that posted this. I didn’t read everyone’s opinion (as there are 214 of them at the moment)… but there were some very mixed reviews and I have been thinking about them for the past couple days. I think I agree with this commenter:

  • “These kids are on their way to writing poetry! Hope one of their teachers sees the creativity.”

But then someone said this:

  • “If this kid is the future of America…we’re doomed.”

And then I agreed with this one:

  • “Her English is not important right now. It’s third grade, not college. Error is grammar are going to be made. What IS important is that this child is articulating their thoughts and feelings onto paper, the validity of the thoughts or feelings isn’t in question, but the fact that this girl is writing. Writing about someone, something, her perspective.”

But then someone had to go and say this:

  • “This type of urban “ghetto” culture needs to end. It’s disgusting and it’s unacceptable.”

I think the the bitch list is funny. But this actually made me think about our education system and what is deemed as “appropriate forms” of written expression. This child is clearly noticing certain cultural movements in her (his?) school/city/state/country and expressing her view of them in WRITING! Isn’t this what we want our kids to do? She notices, documents and subtly gives us her opinion on racism, sexism, classism, education, and body issues in her direct community.

Podcasting

16 May

Is it true? Podcasting is the last totally free art form?

It is free.

I love my iPod and more recently, I have dedicated a lot of time to the digital download  of several podcasts. The closest thing to podcasting is talk radio. Podcasting may not be an art form, but it is surely the future of radio.

Sound Opinions was referred to me by my bestie. Podcasts are almost entirely marketed by word of mouth. Their popularity seems to be more organic. It’s not based on a big mysterious rating system. Sound Opinions features two well-known music geeks who produce a weekly showcase of music news, feature an artist or a music-centered discussion and then critique new albums. It is inherently interesting and totally gets me pumped about new music. The discussions are intelligent and actually relevant. The most interesting discussions occur around the future of music, and the music industry.

sound opinions

Of course, I listen to This American Life, a program that is, week after week, iTunes’ #1 downloaded podcast. Best described as a collection of small sound documentaries, it is exactly as the title reads, life today in America. Fascinating and ironic and honest.

this-american-life

The last of my top-three podcasts is the newest to the mix, The Adam Carolla Podcast. I have stated  that I was a huge fan of LoveLine back in the day, so the Carolla podcast features the funnier of the LoveLine duo, Adam Carolla. The podcast is essentially a one hour rant. Carolla hosts guests, but he does most of the talking. I am fine with this… in several ways, I think Carolla is extremely smart, and a talented comedian. The man can make an analogy to explain any situation, which is brilliant.

 carolla

So, what do you listen to?

A Little Life

12 May

A couple weeks ago, I added some life to my room by purchasing several plants. I  got a fern:

fern

A little plant:

little plant

And some Irish Moss, which I lovingly call, my yard:

yard 1

Today, I got a small package from my grandmother. Inside were some accessories for my new green grass. Now my set up is complete! Thanks Grammy!

yard 3

spin that SALLLAD

1 Aug

I found this article totally funny. Some company (a British one, duh) took a survey of the most and least useful gadgets in people’s life. Of course, cell phones were #1. But also in the mix were hair straighteners and salad spinners. Hilarious. Bread makers and foot spas were the least.

My favorite gadgets of ALL time include this:

And this:

oh and this too…

18 Jan

This is a the most amazing Rice Krispie in the world.

To Jessica, With Love.

3 Aug

The best thing I have ever seen on youtube:

I am so obsessed with Jessica now. It’s the only thing I’ve talked about all day! I love her big, beautiful, lovey eyes; her lil’ ears; her coffee addiction; her dog friends; and most of all her night time routines.

I’ve always loved hippos, second to elephants, but now, I don’t know. 

My hope for humanity is back.

11 Jul

Kent Couch is traveling to Idaho on a lawn chair. His plastic throne is strapped to an array of colorful balloons. He is flying through a few states equipped with a GPS device, a two-way radio, a camcorder and his cell phone.

So amazing!