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The other day

27 Oct

I was at work, doin’ my thing. I get pretty involved in whatever task I may be working on… and I was interupted by an old man, who needed some help finding an item in our store. After I had helped him hunt down a cat carrier for a bottle of wine shaped like a cat, he said he had a theory about life, and he thought I encompassed it. He handed me a card that read:

“Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” – James Tuoto

Pic via Danger mcJANE.

That’s a true story.

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bein’ a beez

23 May

So, the truth, I manage a retail store.  I’m learning a lot about management, leadership and myself. I’ve also learned how to be a bitch. It’s like, one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I hate when people don’t like me.

I don’t mind if people I don’t like, don’t like me, but it has been hard to deal with people who don’t like me because I’m trying to get things done, don’t like me because I have some kind of authority, don’t like me because I make and enforce rules, don’t like me because I (yes, ME! it’s kind of hilarious, really) am a threat. I suppose I believe they have no basis not to like me, but I have been in their shoes too, and I didn’t like me either. 

So, I’m reading books about being a woman and being a boss. And coming into a situation where I am younger than those I am supervising, where I am “new” yet telling people what to do.

I basically feel like I’m learning how to be a good man.

Reading makes me feel less stupid.

26 Mar

SO, it’s been almost a year after graduation… (yes, I realize that is a major topic of mine as of late, but whatever, it’s what I’m going through at the moment). As I seek to find a vision, I have decided to return to my roots… basically, I’ve been getting back to what gets me going, gets me feeling passionate, makes me want to “move and groove,” if you will.

I’ve been buying (and reading) magazines.

Right after graduation, at the beginning of my job (career?), I would only buy such reading material as People, Us Weekly, and Star Magazine. Maybe I had air of “Fuck you, academia, this is where you got me, so this is what I’m going to read.” For about 4 months, I followed, closely, the goings on of Britney Spears and other falling, failing Hollywood bimbos. Basically, I’ve been feeling as dumb as them.

And then, I had an epiphany at the Borders Mag Rack. While purusing the array of trashy magazine covers, I caught a glimpse of a camel crossing a Chinese desert. First, I thought, “I didn’t know they had camels in China,” and then I thought, “What else don’t I know about China?” So I bought and subsequently read, The Economist. Politics and Economics — two of my faves. Then came Ms. magazine and feminism. And Adbusters, full of media commentary and anti-establishmentness. Perfect.

I’m feeling a little bit smarter these days. And I’m getting to the point of dealing with the big question… “WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?”

when i was cool…

18 Feb

When my post about Bangs, was on my front page, I would get, like, hundreds of views a day. Now, I’m back down to like, four.

Last week I had another encounter with my uncoolness. I was working, late, and I asked someone else to stay late as well, not even realizing the day. He basically looked at me like I was the most uncool thing in the world – and just said, “It’s Friday.” To which I said, “Hmm, I guess it is, isn’t i?” It totally gave me away.

working.

13 Oct

I’ve been working since like, the day after my last post – and hence, I haven’t been posting. Sorry. Not sure how long this spurt of blogging will last?! Maybe more than a day, we’ll see.

Things have definitely gone by the way side, since starting a very draining full time job in San Francisco. The job itself is pretty tiring – but the commute from the East Bay to San Francisco is the worst part. Especially considering my work schedule usually coincides with everyone elses. Relocation is definitely a top priority for this summer. Also, things like laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, going out and “chilling” have also gone out the door with the new job. Shit, when do people do things? So, as I search for balance in my life – I will try to blog. We’ll see how it goes.

Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters

16 Aug

Courtney Martin, one of the Feministing girls, recently wrote a book, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters. She was in Berkeley in June (totally bummed I missed it) and I recently caught this clip of her reading an excerpt from her book:

I’ve been totally self-obsessed lately, critiquing every part of myself: and the way the world sees me, the way I see myself, basically, who I am. (I’m told this is relatively normal at my age?!) Parts of what she read are along the lines of what I’ve been thinking lately. I have a full planner and an axiety disorder – I’m judgemental about myself and forgiving of others – I must get As – I must make money – I must make it look effortless – I get homesick – I am annoyed with this part of myself – I cry when I have serious conversations with my friends – I can never show enough humility – I got passed over for a job – Have I dropped out of the race? – I want a hug – I want to change the world – I want to sleep away the days – I would like to believe I love to be busy – I have no faith – I wish I could believe in a God.

I’m sure if I’m just being melodramatic … bits of this probably hit home with most everyone. It’s interesting, none the less. I would like to hear other’s thoughts!

Lifestyle

2 Aug

I am currently trying to lead a lifestyle that emanates from this picture:

Today, when I got home from work, I laid a striped towel on the roof of my apartment and attempted to tan the whiteness that is my legs right now. Unfortunately, the Bay area is cold and foggy this time of year, so things did not go so well for me. I just ended up with ant bites and dirty hands.