SLO

30 Mar

I recently went on a road trip with a few of my bests… I will blog about that soon. BUT – I was totally inspired by this really cutesy boutique in the college town of San Luis Obispo, CA. The only thing I could afford were their button rings, as everything else was like $235, but the decor was fabulous!

#1 – spray painted stenciled carpet. really rad way to make nasty rugs cute!

#2. spray painted lace stairs. using lace as a stencil to chic up plain wood stairs.

#3 – the alley outside of this shop looked like this:

closer:

even closer:

that’s right, an entire alley covered in gum.

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I’m married…

20 Mar

I have a gay husband. Have I told you?

Anyway – recently he moved into a new apartment and I enlisted my superior decorating skillz to help him make his room more comfy. The best part of the arrangement was that I got to decide on everything and then he just paid for it all. Seriously, the best way of doing anything!!! I came up with a concept for one of his walls and we worked together to paint it. The quality of these pictures is not the greatest, but I will get some snapshots of the completed room (with furnishings) to post soon.

the wall

the concept and color pallet

the tedious part, taping off the design

paint by number

complete!

So – actually, that’s about 75 % complete. We went back in and added some more lines. The rest of his furniture/decor is all grays and black. We are going to add teal accents (pillows/chotchkies) to bring it all together.

The painting project was made possible by this tool:

This thing is amazing! I highly recommend it for any project that requires precision.It comes with sticky foam so you can actually stick it to the wall, but we had more success with one of us holding it and the other taping off.

Muir Woods…

19 Mar

…is so close to SF! I never realized this. I took advantage of the beautiful weather today and ventured north to the federally protected sanctuary. It was just gorgeous!

Bitches

8 Mar

One of my facebook friends recently posted a link to this… I found it totally funny. A teacher in Washington DC found a list on the floor of her classroom. From what can be gathered, a child, somewhere between the ages of 10 – 14 wrote an extensive list which she/he titled: Types of Bitches. It’s essentially a classification of all the different kinds of bitches this kid has encountered in one way or another. Without further ado:

Types of Bitches

1) Dirty dumb ass bitches
2) Aint got no ass bitches
3) Dusty trick bitches
4) Fishy bitches
5) Don’t know how to fight bitches
6) Got all that mouth but can’t step bitches
7) Ugly looking bitch that think they all that
8) Can’t keep a man bitch
9) Track wearing bitches
10) Bitches that be trying to steal your man
11) Hoochie looking bitches
12) Ain’t got no damn sense bitches
13) Stupid bitches that act dumb
14) Bitches who can only get a dirty boy
15) Want to be jocking bitches
16) Bitches who think their man love them but get pregnant and be left alone
17) Bitches who think they better than me
18) Instigating bitches
19) Talking behind your back bitches
20) Loud mouth bitches
21) Pissy bitches
22) Stingy bitches
23) Funky looking bitches
24) Short hair bitches
25) Spanish bitches who think they all that cause of their hair
26) Bitches that be ignoring you when they know they can hear you
27) Staring in your face bitches
28) Big eyed looking bitches
29) Crazy bitches
30) Nappy tender headed bitches
31) Booty shorts wearing bitches
32) Coast-signing bitches
33) Dick riding bitches
34) Whipped bitches
35) Buck tooth bitches
36) Cheesy teeth bitches
37) Same wearing clothes each day bitches
38) Ghetto bitches
39) Hair dyeing bitches
40) Wearing shoes that be talking bitches
41) Bitches who think they hard
42) Bitches that think they get money
43) Bitches that go to a dirty school
44) (page missing)
45) (page missing)
46) (page missing)
47) (page missing)
48) (page missing)
49) (page missing)
50) (page missing)
51) (page missing)
52) (page missing)
53) (page missing)
54) (page missing)
55) (page missing)
56) (page missing)
57) (page missing)
58) (page missing)
59) Gay bitches
60) Stanky fishy coochie smelling bitches
61) Tomboy bitches
62) Stain on your pants bitches
63) Dry scalp dandruff bitches
64) Dirty hair bitches
65) Stealing bitches
66) Stinky feet bitches
67) Big gap bitches
68) Protecting their store bitches
69) Pajamas outside bitches
70) Ragly braid bitches
71) Stanky butt bitches
72) Greedy bitches
73) Slimy grimy bitches
74) Psycho bitches
75) Drug dealing bitches
76) Geekin’ bitches
77) Suntanning bitches
78) Goofy looking bitches
79) Triflin’ bitches
80) Skanky bitches
81) Mugging bitches
82) Sloppy bitches
83) Dirty fingernails bitches
84) Dirty sock wearing bitches
85) Uncreative bitches
86) White bitches that think black people poor
87) Conceited bitches
88) Tall bitches
89) Short bitches
90) Jealous bitches

So, all of that is sort of hilarious. What was equally intriguing (at least, to me), was the resulting comment section on the blog that posted this. I didn’t read everyone’s opinion (as there are 214 of them at the moment)… but there were some very mixed reviews and I have been thinking about them for the past couple days. I think I agree with this commenter:

  • “These kids are on their way to writing poetry! Hope one of their teachers sees the creativity.”

But then someone said this:

  • “If this kid is the future of America…we’re doomed.”

And then I agreed with this one:

  • “Her English is not important right now. It’s third grade, not college. Error is grammar are going to be made. What IS important is that this child is articulating their thoughts and feelings onto paper, the validity of the thoughts or feelings isn’t in question, but the fact that this girl is writing. Writing about someone, something, her perspective.”

But then someone had to go and say this:

  • “This type of urban “ghetto” culture needs to end. It’s disgusting and it’s unacceptable.”

I think the the bitch list is funny. But this actually made me think about our education system and what is deemed as “appropriate forms” of written expression. This child is clearly noticing certain cultural movements in her (his?) school/city/state/country and expressing her view of them in WRITING! Isn’t this what we want our kids to do? She notices, documents and subtly gives us her opinion on racism, sexism, classism, education, and body issues in her direct community.

I am painting, again.

5 Mar

A few months ago, I painted the break room at work, to show my employees how much I like them and to give them a relaxing atmosphere in which to unwind during their breaks. Most of them probably wish I never would have done this (even though the room turned out A-mazing) because I bitched about how difficult it was for at least 2 weeks after said project was complete. The ceilings were high, the 10-year-old fixtures in the room were dilapidated, stuff was screwed into the walls where it shouldn’t have been… it was really hard work! After I was done “extreme makeover-ing,” I made a chart and assigned everyone a week of “break room duty,” during which they have to sweep, mop and scrub the room; which is another reason they probably wish I hadn’t bothered. Anyway, I said it would be at least another year before I picked up a paint brush again. Here it is, just 2 or 3 months into my strike, and I am back in the kitchen with a can of glossy red!

At one point, I had cork sheets behind the sink. But over time, they got wet and gross. So I pulled them down and decided to paint it red — to match the opposite wall in our kitchen. This is coat #2, and I definitely have a few more to go! When I’m done, I will post pictures of the completed kitchen, I promise. AND — I have help:

Cartier

3 Mar

I am not fancy. Occasionally, I put on make up or straighten my hair. I sometimes wear costume jewelry; “going out” entails pinning a brooch to my jacket or stringing gold chains with chunky charms around my neck. Mostly, it takes me literally 15 minutes to be dressed and out the door. I do, however, appreciate fancifulness. Last week, my mom and I ventured to San Francisco’s Legion of Honor to view their Cartier and America Exhibit.

It was down pouring outside, which really made it a perfect museum day.

The exhibit itself was really extensive. The collection is huge, and it seems like the jewels go on forever and ever. This particular exhibition was only dealing with Cartier pieces that were commissioned or purchased by Americans. Most of the jewelry belonged to heiresses of the industrial era. One that kept coming up, as in she owned an enormous amount of the pieces on display, was Marjorie Merriweather Post — the daughter of the creator of Post Cereal.

The keystone piece, the one used in most of the advertising for the event, used on all the banners around town and is featured as the very first thing you see when you enter the exhibition is this one:

Pendant brooch made by Cartier London, 1923, altered for Marjorie Merriweather Post (1887-1973) by Cartier New York, 1928. Emeralds, diamonds, platinum, and enamel; length 8 inches.

Yes, those are large drops of emeralds, emblazoned with diamonds and platinum, of course! CRAZY! But that wasn’t my favorite, in fact, it couldn’t be found on my top ten. I was more akin to the likes of this one:

Amethysts, turquoise, diamonds, platinum and gold. Made in 1947 for the Duchess of Windsor. Brilliant.

And Elizabeth Taylor’s rubies were stunning:

My favorite part of the exhibit was actually that they included the artists’ sketches, like this one (of the keystone piece):

It was really great to be able to see the process, from idea to finished product. I was disappointed that there was no credit given to individual jewelers/designers… it was all just “Cartier.”

We were joined by a large crowd of decked out old ladies (we’re talking large velour hats, white leather gloves, lots of boots, Burberry skirts and plastic hair scarves), which only made the people watching after the exhibit that much better.

Crayon Making

19 Feb

Here is another really awesome crayon-making video, thanks to Sesame Street. If your searching for hard facts, Mr. Rogers is the way to go, though. This one is more of a music video: